Memes are dead.
BOOM. How’s that for an opening line, bitch? Srsly though, they are.
I was perusing a site I found recently which appears to be quite popular. It’s called 9gag, and I first added it to “the list of sites I go to when I get home from school because I’m too fucking lazy to do any work” when I saw some funny pictures that made me LOL. Fo’ realzies though. I didn’t just snort hot air out my nose in partial amusement, I actually used my sadly underdeveloped abs to release endorphins that made me feel happy. But now I find myself laughing no longer. Why? you may ask. Well, let’s explain it like this.
Let’s say you and I are friends (far-fetched, I know, but for the sake of the argument, let’s continue). Naturally, being friends we have shared experiences together. These experiences often manifest as “in-jokes’. Now “in-jokes” can be funny once or twice, but their purpose is mainly to say to other people “look at how in tune we are with each other. Don’t you want to be like us, all friendly ‘n shit?”. Which makes them not remotely funny, thus not making them jokes. Anyway, this in-joke I share with you is a way of saying “We’re in a club. Once other people find this funny they’ll be in it too.”. And memes are basically in-jokes of the Internet. They are un-funny and only invoked to show that the person using them is “Internet savvy”. Wrong. Those outdated memes you’re using - they were created in 4chan years ago and you’re only catching onto them now.
Also, this is just a problem with 9gag. The users, or “9gaggers” as they are known, are really pompous. They think of themselves as the “9gag army”, which I’m sure is cute for show and tell, but won’t do you much good in the real world. This “army” recently had a battle with 4chan. You know, the creator of everything you know about the Internet. Really people. You can’t come up with new shit. You can only propagate old crap.
The only sites I really enjoy are YouTube and tumblr. Word up motherfuckers.
How Bennett wins a girl back over http://www.twitter.com/textsfrmbennett
So all Pokemon games get high ratings, right? And why shouldn’t they? They’re fuckin’ awesome. But I’ve been playing Pokemon Blue since, well, since it came out. Not because I’m a hipster you understand (although I do have a tumblr. The worry continues), I’m just poor. Anyway Pokemon Blue is the tits because of two things: 1) The concept of Pokemon was new at the time, and so the discovery of 150/151 new potential best friends was pants-shittingly cool and; 2) Those pocket monsters were so damn awesome. Only the Japanese, hey?
So we’ve already established Pokemon Blue is the tits. So surely the next Pokemon titles should have been more awesome, if they stuck to the same strategy? Wrong. Because they didn’t. While no Pokemon game has ever been a fail, they made the mistake of combining generations of Pokemon. In this way, you wouldn’t really be forced to use new Pokemon and find out their strengths and weaknesses. After you got to a certain level, you could just say “Fuck this shit, I’m falling back to Gyarados and Alakazam.” With Pokemon White, however, the Pokemon creators lock you into using ONLY 5th generation Pokemon until you finish the main storyline. And this had a profound effect on the gameplay for me. The moment I stepped into a cave, I would’ve been super pissed had I encountered a Zubat or Geodude. It would’ve been boring.
This is not to say that all 5th gen. Pokemon are the bee’s testicles (or knees, but you can decide). Trubbish and its evolution are perhaps the most disturbing Pokemon I have ever seen in my life. And that Gothorita nonsense? Fuck. No.
And so after completing the main storyline, I was really disappointed to see a wild Golduck. Not because Golduck is crap, but because I missed the thrill of something I had never seen before.
I have witnessed, with some apprehension, the ‘evolution’ (!) of Pokemon throughout the generations. By the time water starters became shitty (4th gen) I knew it was pretty much over. But Pokemon Black and White have restored my faith.
Walt Disney refused to allow Alfred Hitchcock to film at Disneyland in the early 1960s because Hitchcock had made “that disgusting movie, ‘Psycho’.”
(Source: imdb.com)
